Stop Being Lonely When You’re Alone
The first series of posts I am going to make are going to build on the theme of being alone. Over the course of my posts I will argue that being comfortable while being by yourself is a desirable state to achieve. I will also provide practical tips on how to achieve a feeling of contentment even while being alone.
To first understand the benefits of being comfortable while alone we must first understand the differences between the physical state of being alone and the emotional state of being lonely.
Being Alone Versus Being Lonely
To understand the difference between being alone versus being lonely we must first understand what they mean. I pulled the relevant definitions from the Meriam-Webster website.
As we can see from the definitions one defines a physical state while the other defines an emotional state. This is important as people will attempt to shame you by confusing the two and calling you lonely. As you become more comfortable with yourself some of the people you know will get uncomfortable with you becoming more independent. People do not like it when the old ways that they used to manipulate you begin to disappear.
How to Start Becoming Comfortable With Solitude
The first step to becoming comfortable with being alone is to first become comfortable in your own head. We have grown so accustomed to always having someone or something to distract us from ourselves that having time to listen to our own thoughts is very rare these days.
If you can identify with what I have described here is a course of action you can take. Find thirty minutes every day to reflect on:
- Things you like
- Things you don’t like
- What your daydreams tell you about what you want in life
Start to develop a sense of your own preferences. Start with something this simple and pay attention to what you come up with. This small exercise will open the door for greater change down the road. As I said before, the move to more independence will surely disturb some of the people close to you. In order to individuate yourself from the people around you requires some strength. I have found that doing it gradually has built enough momentum where I don’t hesitate to stand up for myself anymore. Becoming familiar with your preferences creates a baseline of resiliency that you can build on as we explore some of the deeper topics.
Once you have done this exercise go ahead and read the next post in the series.